The daughter of veteran actress Caridad Sanchez shared on social media some reminders for those who want to honor or give a eulogy to a dearly departed person.
Cathy Sanchez Babao enumerated some ‘do’s and donts’ on giving a eulogy; this after she listened to some eulogies. as disclosed on her Facebook post.
“Listening to some eulogies this afternoon, and taking notes about what was done correctly and not, ” she began her FB post on Mayo 23.
She made no mention of names pertaining to the eulogies she listened to, nor did she give any detail on whoever it was who went ‘out of range’ in honoring someone who had moved on to the next life.
“Here are some thoughts on writing a eulogy,” she continued; enumerating helpful reminders to those preparing a speech or a piece of writing for someone who had passed away.
“1. A eulogy must NEVER be about yourself. Insert yourself only in the context of sharing a story or something said to you by the deceased loved one.”
“2. Eulogize the person who died, NOT their late spouse, their parent, their dog, or their best friend.”
“3. Share happy stories. It’s a chance to remember and share stories of their life with friends and family members.”
“4. NEVER imply anything negative about the deceased. That includes implying that she or he told you secrets that no one else knew about. It’s disrespectful and in bad taste.”
“5. Keep your eulogy to a reasonable length. There is no specific time limit on a eulogy, but keep in mind that this is just one part of the service or gathering. Shorter is usually better for everyone. Personally, a maximum of 10 minutes would be sufficient.”
“6. Most important, mean what you say. If you can’t be sincere, don’t go up there for the heck of it or just because you want to be included para sabihin close kayo. In today’s world, may resibo ngayon ang lahat ng eulogies — it’s out there for the world to see and check just how sincere you are.”
“7. End your eulogy with a fond memory and a positive outlook. The end of a eulogy is not the time to make pangaral or to gloat. The ending is a great time to either repeat a favorite memory you’ve already shared, or to add one final memory to leave your audience with. It is also comforting for the family and the audience to hear some words of encouragement or inspiration you may have gleaned from the life of your loved one.”
The Broadway Diva Lea Salonga expressed her gratitude for this piece and gave her two cents, too.
“Thanks for this. It’s in such poor taste when someone hijacks the opportunity to speak in order to make it about themselves and only themselves,” Lea commented on Cathy’s post.
A known personality, Bibeth Orteza, also remarked on the said post, “How very well said.”
Others also shared their thoughts on Cathy’s list; grateful for the guidelines she has provided.
“Yes. Short, sweet, happy wholesome memories. Everyone leaves with warm thoughts and feelings after listening to the eulogy. Many thanks for pointing these out.”
“I want a copy of your post spread, printed, and posted in every chapel that holds a memorial service.”
“#1 Applies also to birthday tributes or video testimonials. Sometimes the person being given the tribute is reduced to an incidental character in the life and perception of the speaker 🙂 (“I met her in a party and several times in my career (specify his career climb and how he met common friends), and her work inspired me to become this person…”
“These are good guidelines Cathy, thank you for summarizing.”
Prior to her posting of the reminders, Cathy shared her own farewell visit to the Queen of Philippine Movies.
“A burst of white phaelanopsis, dendrobiums, and anthuriums. Simplicity and elegance for a well loved queen. Farewell, Tita Susan.”
Cathy Sanchez-Babao, the only daughter of Caridad Sanchez (86), is a Mental Health Advocate. Grief Coach, Certified Grief Recovery Method©️ Specialist, Award Winning Author and Communications Professional, as per Linked In.
She has a YouTube channel “Conversations with Cathy” where she shares ‘Positive Pivots’ with special guests.